One day I
received a
phone call
from Lake Ann
Baptist Camp,
asking me to
play the part
of a homeless
person at a
youth winter
retreat for a
downstate
youth group.
The camp
staffer stated
that I was the
only person
that he could
think of that
would do such
a thing. What
he really
meant that I
was the only
one stupid
enough to do
such a thing.
So naturally,
I said “Yes.”
I began to
prepare for
this new
challenge. I
took an old
wool jacket
out of my
dog’s house.
It was
disgusting and
filled with
dog-hair. I
bought an old
beer T-shirt.
I pulled out
my oldest and
most dirty
blue jeans. I
rubbed the
winter dirt
off my messy
van with those
old jeans. I
went to the
little machine
shop where my
wife worked. I
picked up and
emptied all
the dirty
contents of
the ash-trays
into my dirty
dog jacket. I
filled the
pockets with
all the empty
cigarette
packs I could
stuff into the
pockets. I
went to the
local costume
shop and
bought teeth
make-up that
yellowed my
teeth. My
teeth had the
worse fuzzy
gross feeling.
I didn’t wash
my hair for a
few days
before the
retreat and
then put
Vaseline into
my hair. A
friend gave me
a little
bottle of deer
bow hunting
juice. He told
me not to put
it on myself
'till I saw
the bus of
kids.
I was ready to
play the part
of an
undercover
bum. I waited
one night at a
Shell gas
station in
Grawn,
Michigan. It
was raining a
cold wet ugly
snow that cold
February
night. I was
freezing! I
heard the
large church
bus approach
the Northern
gas station. I
opened the
little bottle
of deer juice
and placed a
few drops on
me. UGH!! I
smelled like a
buck had just
urinated on
me.
Then the youth
pastor left
the church bus
for the inside
of the gas
station. That
was my clue to
make my move
on the bus. I
hurried to the
bus door and
knocked on the
exit. The bus
door opened
and then it
slapped
closed. A
female youth
leader had run
down the aisle
yelling, “No,
no close the
door!” I
knocked again
and again.
This time the
terrified
youth team
sent out the
biggest male
youth leader.
I told the big
boy my
hopeless
story. I
explained how
very cold and
hungry I was.
I asked if I
could ride
with them and
how bleak I
felt at that
moment. The
big old
heartless
sponsor spoke
in a deep and
firm voice, He
stated: “Beat
It”. My
assignment to
get on the bus
was becoming
desperate! So
I went to Plan
B and began to
beg the big
boy for mercy.
He did have a
heart because
he said that I
could talk to
the youth
pastor.
The young
pastor
gathered all
his youth
sponsors in a
circle and let
me tell my
sorry homeless
story to the
entire group.
I did an
academy award
performance as
I told a tale
of
hopelessness,
hunger and
cold.
The youth
pastor said
“We can’t
leave him out
in the cold,
let’s take him
to the camp
and see what
they can do
for him.”
His youth
staff looked
at him as if
he needed
brain surgery.
He received
the most evil
look from the
female leader
that had
closed the
door. The
noisy church
bus went
quiet. I sat
down next to
the only kid
without a
seat-mate.
Jason was the
rejected kid’s
name. We had a
lot in common;
no one wanted
to sit by him
either.
The girl in
back whispered
to Jason in a
loud tone,
“Jason are you
afraid?”
The big youth
sponsor sat
across the
aisle from me
with his meaty
arms crossed.
He was
guarding the
youth from the
new dangerous
bum.
The youth
pastor had
told me to
bring nothing
and come as a
mess. I was
the mess. I
had no towel,
toothbrush,
soap, food,
clean clothes,
toothpaste,
shampoo,
sleeping bag
or any other
thing with me.
The plan was
for the youth
group to
supply my
needs. The
plan did not
work! By
bedtime, I had
received only
an offer of a
banana. I had
secretly asked
some kids for
some smokes.
They told me,
“We go to
church and we
don’t do stuff
like that!”
Nice kids.
The youth
pastor had
brought an
extra sleeping
bag for me, if
I received no
help from the
campers. Well
I received the
full course
“NOTHING”. As
he bought the
bag to me,
Jason told him
that he had
forgotten his
sleeping bag.
I was without
a bag; I tried
to sleep in
the cold
winter cabin.
For warmth, I
was sleeping
with my dog’s
old jacket.
The reason we
have outdoor
dogs is that I
am allergic to
dogs,
especially dog
hair. So I
slept on a
cold mattress
in a cold
cabin in the
winter with
only that
dirty dog
jacket for my
source of
heat. As the
evening
progressed I
had a full
allergic
reaction,
watering eyes,
itching and
deep choking
fits. I looked
the part of a
drug user.
I was told
that the
girls’ cabin
had a prayer
service for
their safety.
The kid in the
bunk next to
me stayed
awake
all-night.
Later, He told
me that he
knew karate
and planned to
use it on me
if I got out
of bed. What
sweet kids!
The theme of
the youth
speaker’s
messages where
What Would
Jesus Do?
During each
chapel I acted
bored and
pretended to
sleep. The
youth pastor
had placed the
exact number
of chairs as
kids in the
chapel, plus
two extra
chairs. During
the three
chapels the
two chairs
next to me
where always
empty.
During a
devotion time
where the
youth group
went off by
themselves to
have a time
with God,
another youth
sponsor came
to me and
handed me a
tract. I was
excited! I
have never had
anyone try to
witness to me.
I had a bunch
of questions
to ask about
salvation and
God.
However the
youth leader
merely said,
“You ought to
read this,
sorry if you
can’t read,”
and left on
his mission to
meet with God.
I was now
angry, I felt
homeless and
rejected! I
wanted to
yell, “You
idiot! I’m an
ordained
pastor with a
master’s
degree.” I
stayed in
character but
that,” bitter
chip on the
shoulder -
homeless look”
was real. I
counted my
losses during
the retreat; a
dirty body;
gross teeth;
awful oily
hair; a
sleepless
night, itchy
eyes and a
very bad
attitude.
At the last
chapel the
youth pastor
had asked me
to be the
chapel
speaker. I was
worried about
my growing
hostility. I
was going to
be one mean,
crabby orator.
At the final
chapel, I
pretended to
sleep during
the lively
youth worship.
The big boy
sponsor was
sitting a few
chairs away,
keeping a
close eye on
the dangerous
bum. The youth
pastor
announced that
they had a
special
speaker for
this chapel,
and since
there was no
unknown person
in the crowd,
they were
confused! Then
I stood up and
stretched. The
pastor
introduced me
as "Tim" a
pastor from
Traverse City.
The group sat
in silence.
Then they
began to talk.
I had really
fooled them
and they where
ready to share
their
thoughts. I
just let them
speak, it was
better then my
thoughts. The
big guy said
that "he
planned to go
to town to buy
me carharts"
that day.
Others talked
about what
they planned
to do to help
me. My
thoughts
were... Yep,
sure, I
believe this
trash. NOT!”
After the
chapel ended
without me
ever talking
[I really had
nothing nice
to say.] A
whole bunch of
the youth
leaders and
youth came up
to talk to me
after the
service. A few
of them wanted
to express how
sorry they
were for how
they treated
me. The youth
pastor’s wife
was one of
them, as she
was the
sponsor that
closed the bus
door and gave
him the evil
eye when he
let me on the
bus. The youth
pastor was one
brave kid - he
had not even
told his wife
about the bum
adventure.
One girl said
the most
unbelievable
statement to
me. It went
like this,
“I’m sorry! I
would have
helped you if
I had known
you were a
pastor.” She
missed the
whole point of
the weekend! I
was shocked!
Sometimes we
Christians are
so dumb! That
is why God
compares use
to sheep. You
do not need to
help a pastor
playing the
part of a bum,
help someone
who is in real
need.
The Bible says
in James
2:1-4,” My
brothers, as
believers in
our glorious
Lord Jesus
Christ, don’t
show
favoritism.
Suppose a man
comes into
your meeting
wearing a gold
ring and fine
clothes, and a
poor man in
shabby clothes
also comes in.
If you show
special
attention to
the man
wearing fine
clothes and
say, “Here’s a
good seat for
you,” but say
to the poor
man, “You
stand there”
or “Sit on the
floor by my
feet,” have
you not
discriminated
among
yourselves and
become judges
with evil
thoughts?” It
can be found
in the Old
Testament,
Lev. 19:15,”
Do not pervert
justice; do
not show
partiality to
the poor or
favoritism to
the great...”
or Proverbs
21:13, ‘If a
man shuts his
ears to the
cry of the
poor, he too
will cry out
and not be
answered.” And
the Lord plans
to meet the
needs of the
broken and
hurting,
Isaiah 61:
1-3, “The
Spirit of the
Sovereign Lord
is on me,
because the
Lord has
anointed me to
preach good
news to the
poor. He has
sent me to
bind up the
broken
hearted, to
proclaim
freedom for
the captives
and release
for the
prisoners, to
proclaim the
year of the
Lord’s favor
and the day of
vengeance of
our God, to
comfort all
who mourn. And
provide for
those who
grieve in Zion
- to bestow on
them a crown
of beauty
instead of
ashes, the oil
of gladness
instead of
mourning, and
a garment of
praise instead
of a spirit of
despair. They
will be called
oaks of
righteousness,
a planting of
the Lord for
the display of
his splendor.”
By: Tim Manzer
http://soulrehab.org/
Copyright ©
2006
All
rights
reserved.
Reproduced
with
permission of
author
