"For
if you forgive others their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive
you; but if you do not forgive others,
neither will your Father forgive your
trespasses".....Matthew 6:14-15
I recently
saw a news item that was a follow up on a
shooting that had happened a year before.
An innocent woman was shot in the cross
fire between two men. She become paralyzed
by the injury. The item was about the huge
change in her life since the shooting. The
thing that struck me most was her
statement: "I haven’t forgiven them yet,
but I know I have to, because if I don’t
God won’t forgive me."
I could see the pain that she was in, I
could see the life that she had lost, and
I wanted to say, "No, God loves for who
you are, you been greatly damaged, it’s
all right!" But she knew the truth, beyond
the emotion of seeing a terrible crime
like this, the truth is, that unless we
forgive those who haves harmed us, who
have sinned against us, God will not
forgive us.
She had two things true.
1) We must forgive to be forgiven. Jesus
says it in a number of places:
---Matthew 7:2
For in the same way as you judge others,
you will be judged, and with the measure
you use, it will be measured to you.
---Matthew 18:35
``This is how my heavenly Father will
treat each of you unless you forgive your
brother from your heart.’’(to be handed
over to the torturers)
---Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold
anything against anyone, forgive him, so
that your Father in heaven may forgive you
your sins.’’
---Paul says it in Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever
grievances you may have against one
another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
---James says it in James 2:13
because judgment without mercy will be
shown to anyone who has not been merciful.
Mercy triumphs over judgment!
It covers the New Testament. If we do not
forgive those who harm us, God will not
forgive us!
What is forgiveness?
Some people who have troubles with
forgiveness think that forgiveness does
not take the harm of sin seriously. But
forgiveness does take it very seriously.
Forgiveness does not excuse sin, it does
not say "O that’s alright, your sin really
wasn’t a bother, my stay in the hospital
wasn’t that long, and I was able to catch
up on my reading!" No, forgiveness calls
sin, sin, and in many ways it holds the
sinner accountable for their actions.
Forgiveness says, "you hurt me, and what
you did was wrong, but I will not hold it
against you, I will not try to get back at
you and I will not hate you for it."
Forgiveness also initiates the process.
You have most likely heard someone say, or
maybe you have said yourself, "Ill forgive
them when they come and say they are
sorry." This is not God’s way. God says "I
forgive you, now will you accept it by
confessing and repenting?" If we wait for
a confession to forgive, most often we
will be waiting a long time.
In his book "What’s so Amazing About
Grace," Philip Yancey tells a story about
a man and wife who one night had an
argument about how supper was cooked, it
was so heated that night they slept in
separate rooms. Neither has approached the
other to say I’m sorry or to offer
forgiveness, and they have remained in
separate rooms years after the argument;
each night they go to bed hoping that the
other will approach them with and apology
or forgiveness, but neither goes to the
other. God’s forgiveness does not wait for
repentance, it initiates and calls out
repentance by offering forgiveness.
This is why some people have great
difficulty forgiving people. Either they
hate confrontation and don’t want to
confront someone with their sin, so
instead they stew in their Unforgiveness
and hate not wanting to do the hard work
of forgiveness.
Other times the seriousness of forgiveness
shows up the pettiness of our grudges.
When I was in university, I was talking
with a friend and I was trying to decide
whether or not to get my hair cut short,
or let it grow long. After letting me
mutter on for awhile, he coyly said "Why
don’t we pray about it" He was joking of
course, but it was his way of saying that
if it doesn’t warrant prayer, then it
really isn’t that important of a decision
is it?. Some wrongs against us aren’t
serious enough to warrant forgiveness.
Some behavior needs to be excused rather
than forgiven. Accidents, mistakes, minor
lapses in judgment, misunderstandings
seldom need forgiveness, usually the just
need to be excused. I know two elderly
sisters who were in a car accident 20
years ago. Each blamed the other for the
accident. The one driving said her sister
was distracting her, and the sister said
she was driving badly. Both of them should
have said "these things happen" and got on
with life, but instead of excusing each
other, they have not spoken in 20 years!
You might say to me, "but isn’t God’s
grace and forgiveness free? Aren’t you
asking us to earn our salvation by
forgiving those who harm us?
The answer is, yes, God’s grace is free,
but it is not cheap. When God’s grace
comes into our lives, it does not leave us
as we were, it changes us. And one of the
first changes that it make is to give us
the power to forgive. By forgiving others
we are proving that we have accepted God’s
forgiveness, and are living in it! If we
refuse to forgive those who harm us we are
showing that we have not really accepted
God’s grace, and thus it is removed from
us.
The other truth that the woman on the news
knew was that forgiveness is hard. This
woman was an athletic, vibrant young woman
before the bullet paralyzed her and
changed her life forever. How could she
forgive that? It is not easy to give up
our right to be hurt, to be angry to get
back, to hate the other for what they have
done. You may have had terrible things
done to you by someone you loved and
trusted, and they hurt you and broke your
trust. You may have lost a great deal
because of someone’s actions.
The Bible tells us the story of Joseph
whose ten brothers first planned to kill
him, and then because they lacked the
fortitude to do it, that they sold him as
a slave to traders who sold him to an
Egyptian. Joseph went from slavery to
prison, and then to a place in Pharaoh’s
court, and finally to being in charge of
all Egypt second only to Pharaoh himself.
When famine drives his brothers to Egypt
Joseph has his enemies in the palm of his
hand. He plays with them for awhile, to
see if they are still evil, but they are
really more pathetic than evil, and just
before he reveals himself to them to
forgive them, we are told that he wept so
loudly that the whole palace heard it. We
are not told why he wept, but I imagine it
was because what he was about to do was
hard, and painful. By society’s standards
he had the right and the power to kill
them, but instead he embraces them, but it
is not easy, it is hard.
It is not easy to forgive, but God in his
grace gives us the power to do it. We are
able to forgive because God is in charge.
Joseph says to his brothers: "You intended
to harm me, but God intended it for good
to accomplish what is now being done, the
saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20 NIV)
We are also able to forgive because God
take even the things that were meant to
hurt us, and he uses them for good if we
let him.
And we know that in all things God works
for the good of those who love him, who
have been called according to his purpose.
(Romans 8:28 NIV)
We are able to forgive in the light of
God’s forgiveness. Jesus lets us know that
if we refuse to forgive, then we really
haven’t grasped our great need for
forgiveness, or how much God has forgiven
us, and thus in our pride, we have not
truly repented, and God will not forgive
us. But when we have our eyes on the
cross, and the pain and suffering that
Jesus went through in order to forgive us
and cleanse us from our sin, is can appear
pretty minor to forgive those who harm us.
Forgiveness is an act of faith. At last I
understood: in the final analysis,
forgiveness is an act of faith. By
forgiving another, I am trusting that God
is a better justice-maker than I am. By
forgiving, I release my own right to get
even and leave all issues of fairness for
God to work out. I leave in God’s hands
the scales that must balance justice and
mercy. Just like tithing is an act of
faith by which we are saying, "I might not
be able to afford this, but God looks
after my needs." Forgiveness is an act of
faith, because we are saying, "if there is
any punishment that is needed, or any
giving of mercy, God will look after it
just fine."
Paul says in Romans 12:19-21 "Beloved,
never avenge yourselves, but leave room
for the wrath of God; for it is written,
"Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the
Lord." No, "if your enemies are hungry,
feed them; if they are thirsty, give them
something to drink; for by doing this you
will heap burning coals on their heads."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome
evil with good."
We must forgive those who have hurt us.
because God commands it, because our own
forgiveness hinges on it, but also because
it is the best thing for us. When we
refuse to forgive the bitterness grows
like a cancer with in us and it eats away
at us, causing stress and illness and
great lack of joy. The only therapy for
this cancer is the surgery of forgiveness.
When we refuse to forgive, we allow the
sin that was committed against us to hurt
us twice: once when we were first sinned
against, and again by keeping us from
receiving God’s forgiveness. We need to
stop the pain and forgive.
Is there someone who you need to forgive?
Is there someone who you haven’t talked to
in a long time because of what they did?
Is there some one who you refuse to trust
because of what they did? Is there someone
who you avoid like the plague, you won’t
sit beside, someone for whom you just feel
like spitting? Is there someone whom you
are waiting for a confession from before
you offer forgiveness? You must forgive
them. Your own forgiveness relies on it.
Mike Wilkins
http://www.runnymedechurch.org/
All rights
reserved. Reproduced with permission of
author
